Thursday, March 18, 2010
Surprised.
I'm here and reading my posts, I'm laughing.
Ahh. I think it's nice to be friends with Joanna again.
I'm living life pretty well.
Counsellor, Close Friend, Confidante, Listening Ear, Secret Keeper.
Life just feels sweet now.
3:34 PM
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Let go of old things.
Hold and accept the new.
Haven't felt this blessed for sixteen years.
But I want to talk about yesterday.
Yesterday was the day I felt worse than ever.
I was fucking miserable and neglected.
When baby when out with her friends, it just totally put me off.
I hated the fact she out was with other guys past 7pm.A
And it just really really irritated me.
I cried out silently that day.
I felt totally destroyed. Frightened even.
I knew I was being selfish and unreasonable.
But I couldn't help it.
What's to say she didn't feel this way before?
The memory still comes back to me every once in a while.
And I just don't feel happy at all.
I don't want her to talk and go out with other guy.
It makes me feel jealous.
But it isn't fair to her. That's why I bottle up things inside of me.
Fuck. I hate it when I'm like this.
I hate jealousy.
I'm sorry baby.
I can't help feeling this way.
I'm just... really really sorry.
1:12 AM
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Well. I don't know how long it's been since I've decided to post.
Not feeling happy again.
I think it'll be the only time I ever post here.
Bitches! (:
I kinda envy Mich, Jas, Joc and Qian mother.
I guess is cos they got friends and people to depend on?
I'm kinda the lone wolf in school now.
Not those in bishounen animes la please.
Well fuck. Not my problem.
I realized I'm sticking to Kinnear.
Bastard has good music choice, that I'll admit.
Okay, back to subject.
I don't care if you bitching Christians out there think.
'Oh. Envy? That's a sin you know!' Well fuck.
I don't care? Hello? I'd rather be a freethinker.
Mich, Jas, Joc and Qian have good friends and each other.
Me? I'm alone again.
I don't know why I can't move on this time.
I didn't think I'd be this deep in sorrow.
It's that same heavy feeling again.
The kind of memories that flood back.
They aren't helping at all.
I want someone to depend on.
Someone I can trust and look for advice.
One who can tell me what to do when I'm at a loss.
One who can cheer me up when I'm breaking.
I want that special someone.
But I know it's just a wish that's never gonna come true.
Never. Ever.
It's just wishful thinking.
Just a dream that'll never come true.
8:13 PM
Friday, December 12, 2008
This place.
It's the only place where I can express myself
Without anyone reading.
Joanna.
I hate that I love you.
I hate that I feel so hurt.
Just from a single comment.
It's become a heavy burden.
Like something I can't carry..
Has been put on me.
It's hurts. My insides.
They feel so torn apart. Why?
Just a few words from you.
I feel like I've been pierced.
By spears.
It hurts and I hate it.
I hate that I love you.
But I can wait.
I can wait forever..
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Now playing:
Simple Plan - I Can Wait Forevervia FoxyTunes
12:03 AM
